You're an enigma...

but so am I and I love it.

We went out of town with friends, flying down the I-35 to a destination I had never been before,telling jokes, recounting awful stories of drunk friends who puke in our cars- a three hour drive feels like five minutes. I notice you keep eye contact intermittently in the rear view mirror.

We get to your friend's house, our other friends go to a separate apartment to prepare for the evening. I get ready in the bathroom next to your best friend, shadowing my eyes and frosting my lips red to match my hair. I'm not a fussy thing; it takes me less than a half of an hour, and when I ask you

What do you think? Good yes?

you grin at me and nod.

You have pockets, here's my passport,the cash and here, put my lip gloss in your pocket

You groan at me in a joking manner and say

I have ruined many a jacket with lip gloss

and I reassure you that the lid is on tight.

We go downstairs and your friend tells me I look pretty, I thank him and kiss him on the cheek, tell his date she looks pretty and hug her as well. I slip my arm into yours, you walk as fast as I do if not faster and I feel like I am keeping count with the CLACK CLACK CLACK of my high heeled shoes.

I am thankful you are three inches taller than I am, I can wear these shoes and not tower over you.

The club is glowing, green and your friend hasn't gone on to DJ yet. You ask if I want to go outside to the glass deck overlooking the city. I say yes and even though I rush towards the door with glee you are there to open the door for me. We stand close to each other looking over the edge, you point out buildings to me and explain the architecture. I am thankful it isn't windy yet, and that you are wearing a velvet jacket that warms my bare shoulder as I lean against you. You introduce me to all of your friends, they are so warm to me, welcoming- when I mention it you say

I hang out with good people, not assholes.

like I would think any differently.

Inside a woman easily thirty years your senior takes a shine to you. You spin lavish tales for her, she hangs on every word and believes you, though that doesn't shock me.

Go for it, if it was flipped, I would milk it for all the free booze it was worth.

You beamed at me, kissed me decidedly on the lips, blue green eyes looking at me in that way where I never have to say a word- I know what you're thinking.

We float around the room, you dance with the older woman while I stand with your friends.

Does that bother you at all, that he is dancing with her?

your shyer friend asks me.

I place my hand over my heart and say

No, I'm so proud of him!

Later on I walk up to you in her presence, maybe to assert my position even though I am not jealous and ask for twenty dollars. You give it to me, as we pool our going out money, and she looks at me quizzically, as if wonder who the hell am I. I go up to the bar with you, you buy her a drink. I hadn't any idea she had bought you three, so when I go outside to sit with your best friend and lament, he rolls his eyes.

Catherine, really? You know how he feels about you. You know how he is, he is just networking.
I know but that is OUR money and I don't like him spending it on her to drink..
It's nothing, seriously. Don't worry about it.
I know.

You later explained to me you felt obligated. I understood, I have been there before myself, and sort of admire the gesture.

The night goes beautifully. I sit in your lap on the porch, wind whipping through my hair,taking pictures thirty six stories above the earth. We drink whiskey and coke, pacing ourselves as to not get entirely shit faced. I dance with you, your best friend and your shyer friend, who says to me

Don't feel like you have to sit here and mingle with me...
Oh come on, I don't have to be his satellite, I'm fine.

You kiss me throughout the night, hold my hand on the way to the bar, cozy up with me on a couch to talk. They say when you're dating you should be close. We are, but often I feel more than a standard Closeness with you; I feel a wash of warmth, and like you would understand anything I tried to tell you. You pay attention and never say WHAT or PARDON ME or UH HUH. Your eyes don't leave mine unless you are looking for something or someone, even then- I know you are paying attention so I don't mind.

The night is over in a flash. When we get home, you feed me vegetarian pizza with ranch dressing for the first time.

That's disgusting.
Oh come on, just try it.

I roll my eyes but trust your judgement; when you see my eyes light up you're all

See? I told you ranch is good on everything.

In the morning you leave to go retrieve our other friends, one of whom was mistreated by the person he was staying with- a mistreatment that ended up in a trip to the cosmetic dentist and me fixing up a gashed eyebrow in the bathroom while you stood in the doorway in amusement, sandwich in one hand, beer in the other.

Go make yourself useful and make me a sandwich.
I already ate all the steak.
You know I don't eat steak.
Then I don't know what to make for you.
Grilled cheese would be fine.
I don't know how to make that.
Seriously?
It's ok I will figure it out.

Even though you enlisted the help of a girl friend, I was impressed with the fact I could ask for a sandwich and not be met with a FUCK YOU MAKE YOUR OWN.

The afternoon was spent visiting your friends, all whom I found to be good people. On the way home, you were decidedly quieter, falling asleep in the dark car. Yet I know your silence isn't due to anything I did; after all, when we stopped, you bought me a diet Pepsi without my even having to ask.

Upon arriving at home you are bleary eyed and have to be up early for work. You pulled me into an exhausted embrace, I had my high heels in my hands, so stood barefoot on my toes to kiss you goodnight saying

You look tired sweetie.
I am.
Get some rest babe. I will see you soon, ok?
Ok, good night.

I blew kisses out the window as we pulled away. Whether you saw them or not it doesn't matter, one way or the other.